Pippi Picks Your Ties

Wearing a tie made of cotton jersey is kind of brilliant. When you dip your shit in your soup you can say, "OHH HELLBALLS" and then just throw your tie in the washing machine. These are on sale for 20 clams:
While you're at it, you should probably throw me in the washer, too, because I am working on a good stink right now.
Also, the teal tie is clearly my favorite, but you can wear the white one if you get in a bind. You can wear the green one if you get in the army.