Wednesday, September 10, 2008

My Watch is Giving Me a Rash!!!

Something strange is happening to my beautiful CVS watch. When I bought it a few years ago, it was white. Then the white stuff flaked off and it turned gray-brown. Now, the band is turning...green. With mysterious mold. Sometimes, it gives me a rash.

I noticed this recently in the middle of a job interview. "Yes, Mrs. Interviewer," I said, "yes, that IS mold growing on my watch and that IS, INDEED, a rash. YES, I will be a FINE, FASTIDIOUS, PUNCTUAL, and RAMBUNCTIOUS employee, PLEASE hire me and give me a bag of CASH so I can PURCHASE some CREAMS and TINCTURES to fix my RASH."

I didn't get the job, but I think it's time to get a new watch.
I would like this one, please! I will pay for it with fiberous crackers!!!!! I have a whole cupboard full of those and they are worth more than diamonds because diamonds are bad for the digestive system.
at

3 comments:

  1. AdamSeptember 10, 2008 at 9:52:00 PM EST

    Diamonds bad for the digestive system!? Pippi. Clearly you have not heard of "chemistry." Diamonds are made of carbon. Humans are "carbon-based life-forms." THEREFORE we are DIAMOND-based, and since our digestive systems are people-based, diamonds=better than Kashi GoLean Crunch with FiberCon tablets instead of milk.

    See also: Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Would your best friend give you indigestion?

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  2. annieSeptember 11, 2008 at 1:10:00 AM EST

    You should just paint a clock face on a cracker and every time someone asks you what time it is you can yell "IT'S CRACKER TIME, CRACKER!"

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  3. AnonymousSeptember 11, 2008 at 8:43:00 AM EST

    I am not even joking when I say I was on the train the other day with a guy wearing one of these. Cindy stole my phone so that she could text me THAT MAN HAS A WATCH SHAPED LIKE A RECORD PLAYER.

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