JUST TRY IT

I think we can all agree that your life would be better if you had a full set of gold lame clothing.
I know, I know. I've been pushing the gold lame for a long time and you haven't taken my advice.
You know how some people try to convince you that your life would be perfect if you stopped eating gluten? I don't really care about gluten but I am SURE that gold lame will get you cash and marriage and other things you want. Just TRY it.


I mean, DUH.
You know that book "The Secret?" I know, I haven't read it either. It's totally fucked up, right?
The REAL secret is to cake your ass with GOLD. DUH.