Win Big Next Week on Pippi Picks!!!!!!!!

I know how busy you are, but you need to stop leaving the house just wrapped in your sheets. Sure, it's convenient, but I don't want you flashing your precious muff every time a chilly wind blows.

This week, I want you to try this all-in-one sheet skirt instead. It has all the convenience of bedding but you don't need to hold it up while you pay for your morning miller lite tall boy.
Protect your muff!
Wrap your puff!
Fire your fluffer!

Next week on Pippi Picks: Win free tickets to EuroDisney.

UPDATE: Plane tickets not included.

UPDATE: EuroDisney not included.

UPDATE: Next week on Pippi Picks! Win a free scone!

UPDATE: Win 3 free old scones.

UPDATE: Includes other stuff in my fridge.

UPDATE: Includes old chicken and broccoli.

Pippi Sneaks onto the Prom Committee

Man, I am so attracted to this striped shirt... I want to take it to the prom.
If you want to be animalistic like this model, you can pair it with a high-waisted skirt, too, and get booked for modeling jobs:Next time I'm in high school I'm going to sneak onto the prom committee and suggest that the prom theme be "Hand Jobs."
What? It's true!

JUST TRY IT

I think we can all agree that your life would be better if you had a full set of gold lame clothing.
I know, I know. I've been pushing the gold lame for a long time and you haven't taken my advice.
You know how some people try to convince you that your life would be perfect if you stopped eating gluten? I don't really care about gluten but I am SURE that gold lame will get you cash and marriage and other things you want. Just TRY it.


I mean, DUH.
You know that book "The Secret?" I know, I haven't read it either. It's totally fucked up, right?
The REAL secret is to cake your ass with GOLD. DUH.

I MUST Call Mother!

This priss twitch continues: I am inexplicably drawn to this polka-dot skirt:
Why? Why me? Why I have gone to the Priss Side? Am I forgetting my nasty roots? This person wearing this skirt is strolling in "pumps" down the streets of Manhattan exclaiming,
"Ah, me! LA LA LA!!!!!!!!! I'm SOOO happy! The sun is shining and I'm going to be married to the man I love best!! Mother will be SO pleased!! I must call her after I finish my weekly lunch with 'the girls!' I'm so happy and GAY!!!!"

If you MUST wear this skirt, you need to tone it down by wearing some plain-colored tunic-y shirt. Then there will just be a polka pouf at the bottom instead of the whole fruitcake. Ideally, you would wear a very scruffy, loose and drapey tank top that had rough-cut sloping neckline that showed some of your chain halter bra. That will take some of the polka edge off and reduce your general gaiety. However, I couldn't find photos of those things. Instead, you could consider wearing this tunic (in charcoal, of course, not in this blasted tan):

I also STRONGLY recommend that you wear this brilliant diamond necklace.Ok. I'm glad we had this talk.