LIZ, who is one of my coworkers, recently discovered Pippi Picks and immediately called me out
for featuring a snuggie video as a Pick.
For those who don't know, A SNUGGIE IS A BLANKET WITH SLEEVES.
In case you forget, the official slogan of the Snuggie is "The Blanket with Sleeves!"
Liz confronted me about my pick. "Snuggies are the poor man's Slankets," she explained to me, and that's when I learned the following things about her:
1. Her boyfriend, Seth, gave her the greatest Valentines gift of all, A SLANKET.
2. Liz appreciates the efficiency of being able to both watch TV and wave her arms around.
3. Liz has always dreamed of owning an infomercial product and now all of her dreams have come true.
4. When I asked her for an official review of the Slanket, she said, "It's the best!"
I don't remember what happened next because I was overcome with emotion and that emotion was JOY that Liz and her Slanket have found each other.
"I'd be embarrased if I had a Snuggie, but I'm less embarrassed because I have a Slanket," Liz explained.
Click here to see the Snuggie website, a sad wasteland of pain.The
Slanket website is a glorious work of art and what really got me sobbing was THE SLANKET POEMS THAT ACCOMPANY EACH COLOR CHOICE:
RUBY:
SLANKET SITE SAYS: "This color is so hard to describe with words. It's a feeling, a vibration, a longing. It's rich and vibrant. It draws you in and drapes you with comfort and color. If passion was a Slanket, it would be this color...maybe passion IS a Slanket. Slide into one and find out."Castlerock:
SLANKET SITE SAYS: "The high intensity discharge lights washed the steel vault in an antiseptic glow. Cold gray walls as thick as the armor of a battleship. Each man had his own reason for being there, that night. Yet they all shared one common interest. When the last seal on the door had been cracked, their treasure was revealed, The Slanket, in Castlerock Grey." Beige:
SLANKET SITE SAYS:
"The smell of coffee and double apple tobacco fill the market. At the end of the street, beyond the sand worn crenellations of the ancient buildings, the desert swirls. The camels loaded with gear blend with the color of the land, their outlines barely visible. It gets cold at night in the desert, praise be Allah that you brought your Slanket in beige. All of the soft color of the desert with none of the chaffing, stinking camels, sunburns, or dehydration.Liz, thank you for teaching me the error of my ways.
The Snuggie was not the right Pick - the Slanket combines blanket, sleeves, and POETRY.
CASE CLOSED.
WHY?
Sometimes, it's weird because the person is making a face that you have never seen before:
Sometimes, it's awkward, because they actor looks skeezy when it seems like they were trying for "sensual:"
Sometimes, it feels awkward because it's like the photo is going in for the kiss and you're all like, "I DON'T LIKE YOU THAT WAY!!! WE'RE JUST LAB PARTNERS!!!!"
But, sometimes, just sometimes, it all comes together and you get the money shot:
OOOOOH!!!!!!!!!!!
