Has it really been 5 years since the last pippi pick? 

No, it has been 4.5 years.

This one goes out to all the Seths out there. May I call you Seph? 

Seph was how the name of the winner of Kept's name was pronounced. Kept, obviously, is the name of a reality show where people competed to be Jerry Hall's kept man.

THIS WAS A REAL SHOW, THIS REALLY HAPPENED TO ME.

I CAN FIND ONLY 2 CLIPS OF THIS PROVING THAT THIS HAPPENED TO ME BUT I SAW EVERY GD EPISODE OF THIS SHOW AND IT WAS ABOUT JERRY HALL (Mick Jagger's ex wife, model, momtrepreneur) TRYING TO FIND A MAN TO BE ON HER PAYROLL AND GO TO PUBLIC EVENTS WITH HER I SWEAR THIS HAPPENED.

Exhibit B: Multiply offensive excerpt of the kept man contestants competing naked to show Jerry they were spontaneous and/or naked with sprinkles of misogynist and/or racist commentary:

 

In the show Seph won but then he and Jerry didn't date, etc. He basically ghosted her but no one said ghosting then BECAUSE NO ONE KNEW A COMPUTER. WELL, SOME PEOPLE USED COMPUTERS. I BARELY USED COMPUTERS I USED THEM LIKE TYPE WRITERS. So Seph maybe didn't text Jerry back just because texting was not commonly used at this historical time.

MEANWHILE

During the period this year when I had shingles it came to my attention that some important fashions were in development, including:

Jester Dino Hat!

90s spikey fleece hat?

City wear!

To wear OUT in the city while being IN a city.

Look, if we're bringing back these fleece spikey hats boys from other schools wore in the 90s, then bring back all the fleece and wear this:

Plus this, if you look like this dog:

And then whiff up a whiffle for your hourse:

WHAT HAPPENED TO SEPH??? IS HE OK???

Special thanks to loyal reader Kieran for sourcing these fashion feasts, wishing to all a good fleece and to fleece a help me find out what happened to Seph.

Blogspot is going to send me a cake because I am the only person to use this platform this year.