Pippi Learns About Christmas

Merry Christmas, One and All!
I am enjoying my Tex-Mex Interfaith Christmas and Hanukkah day!

I had thought my Mrs. Claus Halloween costume was hot shit but now I realize that I should have been rocking this:
Next Halloween.

In the meantime, I am enjoying such Christian delights as Die Hard, Christmas meats, and decorative greens. As an interfaith professional, I'd like to share some tips I have learned with you on this Jewish journey:
1. A stocking sometimes holds candy, but you should not try to eat the stocking itself.
2. A christmas tree may have a fine and festive smell, but you should not try to eat it.
3. Gift certificates are gifts, not snacks.

Learn from my mistakes!

Fringe Wins, World Loses

HAH!
I'm winning! The world is converting to a life of FRINGE!!
Fringe watches! Fringe on every body part!

I like to exercise my fringe secretly by wearing fringed things under my work attire. I also wear a gold sparkly bodysuit under my work attire, but that's a story for another day.

Pippi Picks Okley by M.I.A.

M.I.A., my favorite knocked-up musician, has designed a line of stripey looks!

Now you can wear a M.I.A. onesie!!!!!!!!!
You can have M.I.A.'s seductive face on your seductive front!The jacket is my favorite:
I wish M.I.A. was pregnant with ME! Then I could go to all of her shows for FREE. Tummy-row seats!!!!!!!

Hot Coffee, Episode 5

Dear McDudes,

Another episode of Hot Coffee, the weekly comedy podcast I'm in, is up on the Hot Coffee website.
WHAT? YOU ASSHOLES DON'T REMEMBER WHAT I'M REFERRING TO???
I BLOGGED ABOUT IT BEFORE - THAT SHOULD BE TATTOOED IN YOUR MIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS WEEK'S EPISODE has a new feature: You can either LISTEN to the show OR you can WATCH IT as a VIDEO.
CLICK HERE FOR THIS WEEK'S EPISODE AT HOTCOFFEESHOW.COM!!!!!!This week, we talked about Best Buy, the Jonas Brothers, and Plaxico Burress. Basically, everything you need to know to rock the SATs.
BLARG!

HOOD THONG???

I just realized that a fine reader, ANONYMOUS, posted a fantastic link that I never gave him or her props for: BEHOLD!!!!!!!!! THE HOOD THONG!!!!!!!!!!I recommend you click on the link and check out the photo in it's full glory so you can soak up the following details:

• THE MODEL'S NIPS ARE COVERED BY SPAGHETTI TASSELS. SEXY PASTA? EAT PASTA OFF MY BOOBS, BABY.
• THE MODEL IS HOLDING A FAKE ROCK.
• THE MODEL IS WEARING '80S SOCKS AND SNEAKS.
• THE MODEL IS WEARING A HOOD THONG.

Well played, Anonymous!!!!!!!!!
Keep being you!!!!!!!
Love,
Pippi

Exploding Animal Shirts!!!!!!!!!!!

Please wear shirts with animals exploding through the front:
Exploding shark!
Exploding magical horse!!!!!!
Props to faithful reader, BRIAN, who tipped me off to these special shirts.
DAMN, that horse is magical!!

Pippi Ruined Thanksgiving

UGH!
I effed Thanksgiving - I forgot to bring my special Pilgrim suit:
Sorry, Family. I kind of shit the bed on that one.
Next year.