All U Need

Today just wear a hairpiece

I'm sorry, a harepiece

Sorry, a HAREPee

I'm Sorry, a HAREPEACE

Don't Worry, Winter Sluts!

It's getting colder so those of you who are sluts are having the problem of being incredibly cold all the time.

There you are, just trying to untangle your nipple tassels from your scarf but your legs are like a polar bear's bed (ice. an ice bed).

Don't stop wearing bra outfits just because it's cold and uncomfortable!!! Just be your whole self!!!!!

Here is the solution: take your feather and string underpants and put it in a box marked "SUMMER" and then put the box in your friend's house.

Go to the box in your house that says "WINTER UNDERPANTS" and take out these leather unders:

Go on with your life.

Coco Update

I don't know have you've been getting your Coco news while I've been sleeping regularly but I know what you've been whispering to yourself in your car or while you're doing a walking meditation:
"How... is... Coco... ?... Yes... Coco, Ice T's wife... Yes... Coco Austin."

Look - she's doing great. She looks like she's doing great. She's a great person. I don't know why the milk I think I have a right to say I'm having a bad day on any day knowing that I can call or visit Coco (probably) and just be moved by her great attitude.

Here are some of the things that have been happening to her lately, I think:

One: She was a devil for halloween who loves popcorn and diet tea and this ghostman in the back understands that the diet tea is a joke about her husband, Ice T, whose T stands for something else.

Two: She attended something called the "Blood and Babes Comic Con" and something called "Make it Nasty Saturdays:"

Three: she redesigned CocosWorld.com, it looks great:

Four: SHE STARTED A MMOTHERFUCKING CLOTHING LINE CALLED LICIOUS CLOTHING THAT NO ONE BOTHERED TO DRIVE TO MY HOUSE TO TELL ME ABOUT AS IF I WOULDN'T OBVIOUSLY NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THIS.

I MEAN, EVERY OUTFIT IS DESIGNED AND MODELED BY COCO:

And she has leather pants for "mens:"

 Mazal tov to Coco on outfitting us all for every kind of situation and emotion:

TEAM COCO ONE HUNDO

team coco one hundo

IDK, this crotch hat

Calling someone a "vag hat" doesn't make sense but wearing one does.

sorry/not sorry

In 2014, I still believe in life without pants and that you should not wear pants and it should not be a problem.

But if you work at a place where it would be a bad problem to not wear pants or you have horrible friends who try to leg shame you when you're just trying to live your life and feel a nice breeze, here is a good sweatshirt to wear by itself:

Because it will be a real mindfuck:
friends: where are the pants
you: i forgot
friends: but this says oops which means when you put the sweatshirt on you knew that you were going to make an oops which means it was not oops, it was your plan coming to life
you: oops
friends: why are you friends with me, i suck the joy from your day
you: i like your parents

I'm Not Saying I'm Back, But... A PippiPicks Q&A

Friends, PippiPicks has been on silent since 2012 and I understand that's been a big problem for everyone. I'm talking a BIG problem. I'm talking a bunch of naked people walking around refusing to dress themselves or laugh or smile or love other human beings because there I was not here to pick out their g-ddamn clothes.

I'm not sorry about this but I am sorry if you had any buttburn or any butt ice damage due to not wearing your g-ddamn clothes to protect you from different weather.

Ok, here's what I'm going to do here: I'm going to give you this special cookie outfit so you can just put an outfit on and stop causing problems and ruining your career:

I don't think this is for Halloween, I think this is for self-expression.

Question and answer session:

Q: Why is the origin of PippiPicks ?

A: PippiPicks was started to cure my horrible insomnia because there is no miracle cure better than looking at picture of Coco and pictures of hats.

Q: How can I tell the degree of Pippi's insomnia?

A: Look at the # of posts/year.

Q: I'm sorry 2007 was such a tough year for you.

A: That's not a question, that's just a nice comment.

Q: I just want you to get a great night's sleep.

A: Thanks, that makes me feel really cared for.

Q: Where did you find this photo of cookie monster.

A: On ebay, like how a normal person would.

Q: What if I don't wear the costume you told me to wear.

A: I'll cancel Halloween for my future kids.

Q: Will our future kids be friends?

A: Yes.

Q: Do you still like Coco?

A: Yes.

Q: Even though time has passed?

A: ARE YOU SHITTING ME. THIS WOMAN SAVED MY G-DDAMN LIFE.

Q: Is PippiPicks back?

A: Only one way to find out.