I apologize for this impolite delay in my fashion advice. I know that my words of fashion wisdom are like water in the desert: NECESSARY FOR BASIC SURVIVAL.
Readers, even I, Pippi, am currently embroiled in a fashion puzzler.
FRIENDS! COUNTRYFRIENDS! Today I turn to you!
This weekend, I have to attend the following events one right after the other:
1. Work in my cubicle
2. A bachelor party
3. A job interview
4. An elementary school's production of "Shrek"
5. A wedding
6. A funeral
7. 2 long train rides
QUESTION: What outfit can I wear in all seven situations???
My criteria is this: I don't want to have to change my clothes at any point.
ANSWER: I should give up immediately, drink seven beers, and then put on these disturbing shorts:
IN ADDITION, I should wear this ill-fitting shirt
Lastly, I should wear this ghostly necklace:
Over the course of the weekend, I think I will avoid showering or brushing my teeth as well. Hopefully, by the time I arrive I the funeral, I will smell and look so terrible that everyone will burst into tears when they see me, thus distracting them from the sad event.I think this is the perfect plan.
If anyone thinks otherwise, speak quickly! Otherwise, I will go pick out the one pair of underwear that I will commit to from Thursday to Sunday.
1 comment:
Those shorts ARE disturbing.
If you were to wear a Shrek costume, you would fit right in at one of the aforementioned events. I'll let you guess which.
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