This is the Time Machine Calling

All my peeps know that I suck at returning phone calls.
I should make "Return Phonecalls" one of my New Year's Resolutions right after
"Stop Swearing" and
"Eat More Blueberries."

I bet I'd be about 3 times more likely to call people back if I had one of these babies in my apartment:
"Hullo, this is Sergeant Pippi calling."
"Hullo?"
"Oops. Wrong number."

But at least I'd try, right?