Butt Pads

I got an email from Greg, an eagle-eyed reader who had picked out a splendid black thong-suspender dong-sack. Due to technical difficulties, the image he sent me can't be shown here but here is a similar item to help give you the general idea:The photo above + metal rings + attached suspenders = "dong swing?"
The thong shown above has built-in padding which the web copy promises "lifts you up and out."

Greg, I think you may have hit upon what should be the cornerstone of every man's wardrobe: Tasteful padding. Behold! Unders with a padded butt!

You can wear it under this...shirt! This sick, sick shirt.
This shirt would look much better with butt pads and a dong swing.