Go Tattooed Models!

It isn't very often that stores hire tattooed models to pimp their clothes so when I see it done I say, "GOOD JOB!"
Look at that! This tattooed lady is workin' it!
Yeah!
Sell that dress!

Thanks to her, JanesCloset.com wins the Pippi Picks 2008 Nice Ink Clothes-Sellers Award. Congrats!

G.I. Joe for USA

Oooh - I want you to wear this G.I. Joe ID bracelet every day in case something horrible happens to you:
If you get smushed by a bus and they have to identify you they'll say, "Ohhh. She belongs to America, sirs."

Just to be safe, you better keep these sunglasses on all the time, too:
Then they'll know you lived free and wild like a stallion.

Pippi Picks Your Perfect Outfit

This might be my favorite outfit ever:
A bodysuit with a detachable skirt! Perfect!

Put the skirt on when you go to work...Then if you come across a swimming pool on your coffee break, BLAM!
TEAR OFF THE SKIRT!WORK IT!!
GET IN THE POOL!!
GET A NICE HUSBAND!!!!!!
GREAT LEGS!!
WORK THAT CRACK!

Pippi and Sister Terrify Themselves in NYC

My little sis came to visit last week and we got SILLY! "Silly and the City" is the silly version of a certain TV show.

We saw lots of strange things in fancy store windows that we brought back to share with you:

First off:
Furry necklace! FURRY!
We spent a long time outside of the Prada window on Madison Avenue trying to figure out what the deal was with this mannequin:
Jammies? Could it be? Good thing this jammie friend has these golden heel...socks:
Meanwhile, this special mannequin was relaxing in GOLDEN SEQUINED PANTS!!!! Pants so beautiful they blew her head off!
We got spooked by this window selling heart-shaped necklaces:
Then we went and freaked ourselves out at FAO Schwartz:
This Barbie has something special to say to us:Interviewer: What are your career aspirations, Ms. Barbie?
Barbs: I CAN BE BABY DOCTOR!!!!!!!!!!!Across the way from Baby Doctor, DOLLS DEPICTING THAT UNWATCHABLE SCENE FROM SPIDERMAN 3 were HANGING OUT AS IF THAT SCENE WAS NOT HORRIBLE ENOUGH WITHOUT BEING COMMEMORATED BY CREEPY DOLLS!!!!!!!!

Yes, Kirsten Dunst doll, I blame you.
At least my best friend, the Hamburgler was there:
My other best friend, 3-headed Cerberus, is a perfect way to keep the kids cozy and comforted at night!
MOMMY: Shhh, sweetie, it was just a bad dream. Here, hug your 3-headed doggy.
KID: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
MOMMY: There, there. Hug the doggy.
KID: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! It wasn't a dream!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MOMMY: I CAN BE BABY DOCTOR!!!!!!!!!!!
KID: Stupid Barbie Mom!!!!!!!! Why can't I have REAL parents who get me normal toys?????????

NYC is scary, man. Thankfully, my sister protected me from these sights. She also fought off the fur-coated ladies that chased us on Madison.

Haute Hank Always Delivers

My brilliant cousin, high-fashion high-schooler Henry, just sent me this unbelievable link:
Brill!
He wrote, "WOAH! STAR TREK!"
He also signed the email "Haute Hank," yet another flourish of his precocious genius!

When I die, dear friends, although the entire Interweb will weep and fuss, I know the younger generation will continue my fine tradition of A+ Picks.

Pippi Picks Barneys Best Buys for Pranks and Laughs

I have never bought anything at Barneys! I think spending big bucks for small sweaters is like pooping on your money and flushing it down the honey pot!

However, if you MUST be kept in fancy furs, now is the time because Babs New York is having a special sale.

I have picked out the Pippi Picks Barneys Best Buys of Early 2008 to help you with your luxury bargain hunting.

As always, I would like you to wear a special sack:
If that won't do, this two-toned jammie will display your tummy handsomely:
Barneys also has a selection of shoes just for pranking your friends and frenemies!

Some dumb friend will say, "Yai! Nice pants!"
That's when you say, "I've got you now! These boots come with LOWER PANTS ATTACHED! Now YOU are the fool, Francoise!!!!!"
You may want to wait for warmer weather, though, due to the problem of chilly thighs.

MEANWHILE, if someone you hate is having a birthday, give them these shoes:
Have them put them on and say "Break a leg!" PRETENDING THAT IT IS A JOKE!
HA! WHO IS MAKING A JOKE NOW??? NOW YOU ARE MAKING A JOKE!!!!!!
BAM! THEY WILL BREAK ALL KINDS OF THINGS!!!!!!!

Green Jeans?

I used to have a pair of black, skinny jeans.
I wore them every day for a couple years and all of a sudden they're not "skinny" anymore! They're not even very "black" anymore! Now they're off-black, slouchy jeans with saggy knees!

How am I supposed to score now???

Even though I love rolling around in my bathtub full of money, I might have to get out of the tub to buy a newer, tighter pair of jeans, tight enough to show off my outrageous butt.

This time, I might branch out and get some skinny green jeans:
Pippi Green Jeans.
Then my green butt will look like a beautiful lima bean.

I Wish All My Clothes Were Yellow

Right now I secretly wish that all of my clothes were yellow:
Right-O! Yellow time!
By the way, bargain hunters, that jacket is on sale for $67.50 down from $270. I mean, if you're into that.
Right-O!
I paired my yellow jacket with a yellow frock! I'm a lemon, I am!

Added bonus: When you wear all yellow, you don't need to inconvenience yourself by stopping to pee. You can just let it go wherever - no one but your dress will know.