Pippi Picks Your Wedding Gown

I have TWO cousins getting married this summer and the family is in a tizzy! Such suspense! Will the brides and grooms say "Yes" at the alter?? Should I get the couples big tureens as gifts?? Most importantly: What fantastic fashions should grace the day??

Little do they know that I have already saved the day by selecting perfect wedding gowns for all involved AND 4 YOU!

First suggestion:
I strongly suggest a dress in the "Alcoholic Divorcee" style:Classy, fluffy.
Speaking of Fluffy, the best wedding accessory is also man's best friend: A bridal-themed dog.
Don't be offended if your mangroom tries to kiss the poodle instead of you, his betrothed! With two white puffies on the alter, he's bound to be delightfully confused!

If Alien Chic is more your style, I recommend this space explorer look (wig not included, Whig included):
I was going to recommend the chandeliered dress below, but I think there's a serious design flaw: The chandeliers should be attached TO the dress. Just think how the bride will sparkle with tinkling crystals hanging from her legs and hair!They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, which is why you may want to dress up like a giant cupcake for your Day of Union:
There is one dress that you can't wear, though, because I am going to be wearing it everywhere, including the doctor's office and your wedding: Feather Poof!
YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! Giant bird pile!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pillow explosion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOOOOOOOO comfortable.
PIPPI: I'm tired.
DRESS: Just lie down. You're wearing ALL FEATHERS, LIKE A BOSS BED.
PIPPI: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DRESS: You sleep like an anglo.
PIPPI: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!