This particular Ms. happens to possess the most terrifying triangle of traits: She is Brilliant, Hilarious, and as Beautiful as One Million Hummingbirds - think of the responsibility on her shoulders! How does she stand herself?
To help her carry this cloak of Greatness, I suggest that she wears this medallion:
Then when she is introducing herself to new friends and they ask what it is, she can say, "Bitchezz, I won this at the Pippi Olympics of 2007!!!!!!! General Gold for being better than George Washington!!!!!! I'm the Whitney Houston of Life, bitches!!!!!! Bite me!"That will help her new college friends feel comfortable around her and get used to the idea that they should serve her faithfully and never be fresh.
1 comment:
Luckily I've already announced that I'm the winner of America's Next Top Pippi cycle 2 and everyone I've met is in complete awe of me. The only problem is that they won't stop grovelling long enough for me to learn their names, so I just call everyone "you."
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