USA 4 EVR

In their comments on my last post, my readers asked for two bits of advice:

1. What should one wear to show that he is a patriotic and cool American who has just returned from Europe?

2. What should one wear to attract Wyoming hotties that will not attract Wyoming bears?

ANSWER:

Frankly, I think your queries can be combined.

Duh. Patriotic tattoos.

Mayhaps you could get tattoos of American landmarks to show that you are a sexy and tough American:

EVEN BETTER, YOU COULD GET THIS TATTOO AND SHOW THAT YOU JUST "GET IT:"
If you are too much of a traitor pussy to go through with this, go back to France where you belong. I hope bears eat you while you're there.

I hope you've learned your lesson.