Wednesday, September 10, 2008

My Watch is Giving Me a Rash!!!

Something strange is happening to my beautiful CVS watch. When I bought it a few years ago, it was white. Then the white stuff flaked off and it turned gray-brown. Now, the band is With mysterious mold. Sometimes, it gives me a rash.

I noticed this recently in the middle of a job interview. "Yes, Mrs. Interviewer," I said, "yes, that IS mold growing on my watch and that IS, INDEED, a rash. YES, I will be a FINE, FASTIDIOUS, PUNCTUAL, and RAMBUNCTIOUS employee, PLEASE hire me and give me a bag of CASH so I can PURCHASE some CREAMS and TINCTURES to fix my RASH."

I didn't get the job, but I think it's time to get a new watch.
I would like this one, please! I will pay for it with fiberous crackers!!!!! I have a whole cupboard full of those and they are worth more than diamonds because diamonds are bad for the digestive system.


Adam said...

Diamonds bad for the digestive system!? Pippi. Clearly you have not heard of "chemistry." Diamonds are made of carbon. Humans are "carbon-based life-forms." THEREFORE we are DIAMOND-based, and since our digestive systems are people-based, diamonds=better than Kashi GoLean Crunch with FiberCon tablets instead of milk.

See also: Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Would your best friend give you indigestion?

annie said...

You should just paint a clock face on a cracker and every time someone asks you what time it is you can yell "IT'S CRACKER TIME, CRACKER!"

mk said...

I am not even joking when I say I was on the train the other day with a guy wearing one of these. Cindy stole my phone so that she could text me THAT MAN HAS A WATCH SHAPED LIKE A RECORD PLAYER.