Step 1: Find an office holiday party to go to.
Step 2: Scrunch up a bunch of Kleenex and glue them to yourself, like the folks at Chloe did when they designed this $3,760 dress:
Step 3: With the leftover glue, stick googly eyes and glitter all over your face and arms. Then mail a bottle of champagne to a stranger, just to surprise them.Step 4: If there is shrimp cocktail at the office party, tuck a couple behind your ears as accessories. Then stuff a few down your dress to eat later. Take some of the cocktail sauce and mush it around your hair until it has a nice red color and tangy stink going. See? Just a couple hours ago you were moping around your apartment microwaving Pop Tarts and taking tomato juice baths! Now you are swingin'!
Step 5: Make a special friend! Offer your friend a shrimp by saying, "Whoo! A creature of the sea!"
Step 6: Try to talk your friend into believing that you are from the future and know all about how different Super Bowls end. Act out different Super Bowl commercials from the future like this one:
YOU: ...And there's this one commercial that everyone loooooooves! A flying computer comes out of a clampod and says, "Mooga, snooga!" and the money iz cheetos! I don't know what water is! My house is made of diamonds!
Step 7: Before you leave, try to get your new office friend to travel back to the future with you. When they say no, give them a present to remember your special night:
Ah! Whata holiday!
2 comments:
thanks to my brother who is "writing his thesis" i knew about this post almost instantly. a good thing, too, because i was almost headed out the door to my office christmas party in a normal dress. can anyone say fashion faux pas?
sheesh annie! that sounds like it was almost a close one!
Post a Comment