Sunday, December 3, 2006

Pippi Picks Pamela Anderson

While my favorite Pamela is my little sis, the other Pamela that I love is the great Pamela Anderson. I first became obsessed with her after reading "The Dirt," Motley Crue's autobiography WHICH IS BY FAR THE BEST BOOK I HAVE EVER READ. Please stop what you're doing and read this amazing story of hope, triumph, and total nasty and let it change your life as it has changed mine.
Since that special time, Pamela Anderson has done all sorts of special things including appearing in the Borat movie and marrying and divorcing Bob (AKA Kid Rock). To support Pam, I have picked her as this month's recipient of the "You Are Very Special" Award.
Why is Pamm-o so special, you might ask?
WHY?? BECAUSE SHE WORE THE BEST WEDDING DRESS OF ALL FUCKING TIME, THAT'S WHY:
Do you see that???? Do you see why I love her? Even though it didn't work out with Bob, their marriage was a gift to the world because she taught us all the true meaning of getting married. That true meaning is "White Bikini Is Not Good Bib But Is SOoooooooooo Comfortable On Boat During Wedding to Bob AKA Kid Rock."
Listen. P.Anda is going through a hard time and we need to show her that we care. If you are going to get married this month, please PLEASE wear this wedding dress to show your solidarity:
See that? That is a woman who doesn't give a fuck. She's all like, "What? I'm the captain. I'ma the claptain. I have lotsa cats."

4 comments:

rosa said...

i decided today that if i get a cat i will name it "futon" what do you think?

Christopher said...

go for it!

annie said...

question: in order to wear said wedding dress, do i have to somehow get PamA's rock solid abs? also, do i have to find a total loser husband or can i marry someone i actually like enough to stay married to?

rosa said...

i think i might need to find a second cat with rock solid abs to be friends with Futon. I will name Futon's companion "Ruby Moses."