Lola Cosmetics makes this stuff called "sand and sun bronzer" that is killer. I never would have bought it for myself but since Lola has come into my life I have worn this stuff every single day. If you wear it, it will fix all of the problems in your life, win you the lottery, and always call when it gets in at the airport. More importantly, it will make you look less like a sleep-deprived, cracked out Yeti. I have no idea how this stuff works its Hollywood magic, but I think it's made out of crack and roast turkeys. You can start by wearing it as bronzer, blush, and eyeshadow and then move on to using it as a replacement for your clothes. Just walk around in your Lola and a woolly hat and you will look like a sexy beast. A sexy, sexy Yeti ready to go sled through the snowy hills.The next time you are lying in bed crying because you are completely overwhelmed by your fixation on my freakishly beautiful face, calm yourself. You, too, can look as shockingly stunning and upsettingly bronzed as I do.
2 comments:
Dear Pippi of Pippi Picks,
That day at the deli while I ate my cole slaw rachael, I couldn't help gazing, nay STARING at your bronzed skin. I noticed that when I returned to New York all inspiration to get out of bed in the morning slowly left me. What was the point of getting out of bed, just to spend another day with a face not nearly as bronzed as yours?
THANK YOU for once again instilling my life with meaning, and freeing me from the rampant jealousy that was tearing apart my soul. You are a true friend.
Your fan,
Strella from Brooklyn
be soothed! you, too can be bathed in bronze!
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