Wedding Planner

My friend from high school just announced that he's getting married, which is tres fab. What he doesn't know is that I already finished planning his wedding and 3,000 frozen meatballs on sticks are going to arrive at his house sometime in the next three days.

Don't worry, Wedding Friend, it's all planned!

At the ceremony, a Cranberries cover band will sing "Happy Wedding to You!" before the bride and groom blow out the wedding candles.

Reception Menu:

1. 3,000 meatballs on sticks.

2. Pancakes.

2. Lox-flavored wedding cake.
But what will the bride wear? I have picked out 3 possible outfits for her.

WEDDING DRESS #1:

I am worried that she will be so trashed from the pre-ceremony Power Hour I've planned that she'll trip if her dress is too long. To help her out, I have picked a miniature wedding dress. So tiny!!! A Shrinky Dink!!!!!

WEDDING DRESS #2:

It is also possible that the bride will still be hungover from the pre-wedding rehearsal Power Hour that I have planned for the night before. If so, she should just roll out of the limo and stumble up the aisle in the dress from the night before. No one will notice! She doesn't even have to brush her teeth! WEDDING DRESS #3:

I think we all know, though, that for a truly great wedding you should get married outside of an Arby's and the bride should wear a romper and roller skates.